Government to investigate why sugar is sweet, Dlamini-Zuma outlines new plan

The South African government is finally going to investigate why sugar is sweet. After many years of wondering why sugar is sweet, the government of South Africa decided on Friday to be the first in the world to find out why sugar is sweet. “This question has troubled us for thousands of years. For millennials we have been asking ourselves why sugar is sweet…and now we are going to find out,” the government said. Minister Read more…

“We built South Africa with our own hands, all the mountains and trees you see were built by us”, The son of the soil clarifies

Saying that he is sick and tired of people claiming they own South Africa, The son of the soil Julius had no choice but to clarify were South Africa really comes from. ”I have been avoiding this question for a while now. But the more I keep quiet the more I hear people saying warawarawara about our country. They do not know that we built this country with our own hands,” the son of the Read more…

African governments need $100bn to enrich corrupt selfish government officials Post-Covid-19 aftermath, Ramaphosa tells UN

Saying that Covid-19 really hit every corrupt politician in Africa hard, President Cyril Ramaphosa on Tuesday revealed that the continent’s corrupt politicians will need $100bn to recover from the loss they incurred during the lockdown, “The money should come in a form of financing for the poor. It would be distributed to different governments as if it’s meant to help the poor people of the African continent, and then it will be eaten by corrupt Read more…

White Star changes its name to Black Star Super Maize Meal to avoid being called racist

Following the recent attacks on brands that were considered to be racist in South Africa, South African maize meal producers ‘White Star Super Maize Meal’ have changed their name to ‘Black Star Super Maize Meal’ to avoid being labeled racist. “It is not easy to say anything and not offend anyone in South Africa these days”, Spokes person of White Start Super Maize Meal Kobus Van Mdoko  said on Saturday. “You can’t say words like Read more…

“Most men do not fall pregnant because they do not go on their periods, they must drink more red wine”, Minister of Pregnancies

Saying that most mothers in South Africa are women, the government in the country revealed on Friday that this is due to the fact that most men don’t usually have their periods at the right time of the month or ever.  Speaking in Pretoria, the minister of Pregnancies in the country Ayanda Amawele revealed that it is mostly women who experience period pains and mood swings because they are the ones who often have their Read more…

“If farmers stop producing food we will eat corn flakes”, South African Minister of Police Entertainment

Saying that farm murders are not classified as priority crimes, the minister of Police Entertainment in South Africa Bhekzaz Culu said this week that he does not like being put under the spotlight. When one farmer asked the minister what the people of South Africa will eat if farmers stopped producing food, the minister said “This thing of yours of putting me on the spot and demanding I answer as you speak is arrogance, that Read more…

Government officially bans doing homework in the car or in any form of public transport

Saying that the word ‘home’ means a place where one lives permanently, especially as a member of a family or household; government permanently banned doing homework in cars or in  any form of public transport on Monday morning.  Speaking to media about this very important matter, minister of Transport in South Africa Mr. Fear Fokol said cars, buses, trains and taxis are not homes and therefore people are not allowed to write homework in them, Read more…

“Poor people can’t dance. If you dance while you are poor, you will be poor for the rest your life. Only rich people can dance”, Groenewald warns South Africans to sit down after Ramaphosa’s speech

Local politician and FF Plus leader Petrus Johannes “Pieter” Groenewald has condemned the request by president Cyril Ramaphosa to South Africans asking them to do the Jerusalema dance challenge on Heritage Day this month as the country goes from Level-2 of the lockdown to Eevwl-1. “No no no no man… I’m going to politicize this simple thing that is meant to unite the people and let them have fun. How can Ramaphosa ask the people Read more…

“I steal because I’m happy. I steal because I’m free”, Zandile Gumede sings

Saying that she is happy and free, former eThekwini mayor Zandile Gumede sang a song when she took a shower this morning. Singing from her KZN mansion bought with millions of stolen rands Gumede sang and said while she took a shower: Why should I feel discouragedWhy should the shadows comeWhy should my heart feel lonelyAnd long for money and cars When money is my portionA constant friend it is Its eye is on the sparrowAnd Read more…

“Most learners fail their grades because they do not pass”, Education department reveals

The department of Basic Education in South Africa has finally found the reason why many learners fail their grades. The department says most learners fail their grades because they do not pass, “Most learners fail their grades because they do not pass”, Minister of the department Angie Motshekga said on Tuesday afternoon. “As the trial exams begin, we encourage learners to do their best and study their books. If they don’t they will not pass, Read more…